Birth Story

Why I wanted a doula and what I got out of having one.

Often people wonder what a doula will actually do. This is a story of what my doula actually did but it’s not a story of what your doula would do that would be as individual as you are and your birth will be. What a doula does is not what doulas are about. Doulas are about being who they are and being with you in the way you need them to. But this gives a good example of what a doula adds to a birth.

Why choose a doula when you already know all about birth?

Being a doula myself, when I fell pregnant, one of the things I was excited about was that I would be able to have a doula. I knew all of the statistics and that I would be more likely to have the birth I wanted with a doula to support my husband and me and I knew from the experience of my clients that whatever this baby and this birth had in store for me I would feel more positive through it all with a doula by our sides.

Already knowing many of the local doulas I was spoiled for choice when choosing my doula. I knew that each of them would add something of unique value and that I would be happy and blessed whoever I chose. My choice was made the way I would recommend anyone make their choice of doula. Although the job I’d already done of getting to know the local doulas would need to be done by reading through websites and doula pages on the Hampshire Doulas website and then by interviewing the final decision should be purely instinctual. The right doula for each family is the one who feels right to them it’s as simple as that. I’d have loved to have the full complement of my doula sisters with me but I chose one who had just completed her training as its part of who I am to be part of other doulas journeys and because I was her doula so we already had that connection and I was excited to have her with me.

How did your doula support you through pregnancy?

One benefit I discovered that I hadn’t realised a doula provides in the run up to my birth was having someone who was as interested as I was in my pregnancy and upcoming birth. If a thought occurred to me about my birth plan or I was worried about something there was always someone I knew I could talk to and not think they’d probably had enough of me going on about birth or babies!

I had a trial run of labour when I thought my waters had gone and started having regular mild to medium contractions. This was the only time it was difficult being the client rather than the doula because although I knew nothing was happening for quite a while I also knew that I had told my doula (as I should have done us doulas like to know) what was going on and after that I kept thinking about how she was feeling wondering what was going on.

When I’m a doula and a client goes into labour but doesn’t need me yet and then I don’t hear from them for a while I try to relax and know that they will call when they need me but the little niggle is always there at the back of my head, what if everything went fast and sudden and they haven’t had the chance to call me and then I worry about them just a little. So although I knew nothing interesting was happening I tried to keep my doula up to date! This in one way was helpful to me because it meant I knew I was not in active labour because I was able to think rationally about whether to call my doula over or not!

I did call my doula over in the end and she made herself very useful working with my husband to find and patch the hole in the birth pool! We pottered around through the night and everyone had a nap. It was after that I realised I wasn’t having contractions. We tried a few things to get my contractions going again. My doula made herself useful keeping the clary sage oil in the burner going. We sent our doula home and got a little more sleep before the kids got up for school.

We went up to the birth centre to have them check if my waters had gone or not. We could have chosen not to go and kept an eye on my temperature but I really wanted to go, so we did. It seemed from inspection that either only my hind waters had gone and were no longer leaking or I had simply had a very watery show. This was a massive relief as it would have been my choice to go into hospital for induction at that point which was not on my ideal plan.

How did your doula support you on the day?

That evening I started having contractions again but I kept it to myself as I didn’t want to get everyone’s hopes up again with nothing to show for it. I went to bed and slept between the contractions which were coming about every 15 minutes. I got up about 4am as I couldn’t sleep any longer. By 5am I was fairly confident this was the real thing as the contractions were much stronger and were regular. I woke my husband up at 6am and asked him to put my TENS machine on. By 7am he had the pool inflated and my doula was on her way and my kids and mum were up. I bounced on my ball chatted to the kids and breathed through my contractions. My mum took the kids to school and my doula turned up. She was able to give my husband confidence that he should, as he thought, call the midwives even though I hadn’t asked him to!

My doula helped me get myself sorted out with my bikini and into the pool. She remained calm as I started to make pushy noises and asked how long the midwives would be and helped my husband to do so too. When I needed to have my husband right there to hang on to through the last bit of my labour my doula was able to keep up the practical tasks around us, passing me a drink, sorting out the music and the oil burner. When I felt my baby’s head crowning I asked her to get the camera and she took a brilliant set of photos of the arrival of my daughter which I really treasure.

When the midwives arrived and started asking questions during contractions and then got growled at (by me) to read the birth plan my doula was able to provide them with the birth plan and reassurance that I was just in the zone and not actually cross with them. She really helped everyone feel more relaxed with each other.

After my baby arrived I was able to relax and everything was cleaned up around me. My doula helped me feel safe, warm and relaxed while we had our first feed with lots of warm fluffy towel. She then helped me uspstairs and in the shower while my husband had a cuddle with his new daughter.

The next day my doula provided us with amazing chocolate brownies. Which was the highlight of having a doula as far as my older children were concerned.

Overall I would rate having a doula support your birth 10/10 and would reccomend everyone give it a go.